Give It To Us
Short and Hard
127th
February
24, 2001
A smaller than average (about 4
inches) contingency of the Kiss My Hash House Harriers faithful gathered on
another beautiful Saturday partake in the ancient tradition of consuming nectar
while expending energy. Lead by the Hares Short Cummings
and Hard Drive, the pack traveled near and far. Through neighborhoods and neighborwoods the
packed followed close at hand, but were never able to catch the hares. Slowed by the childish screams of Strap On
falling, the pack finally located the end by sniffing for beer in the air.
Our esteemed Religious Advisor Deep Throat lead the circle in the traditional festivities of the
hash, enlarged by the enormous blood flow the various awards cause. Saturday Night Beaver and Strap On were
nominated for the Hashit award for their lack of running and lack of running well,
respectively. But the first award of
the evening was given to the most heinous hasher among us that day: Your Royal Hein Ass
who refused to bring the beau because “he’s too good for us.”
The next two awards were given to
those hashes who displayed their athletic abilities with pride. One such hasher not only proved that he was
a Lazy Mother Fucker but also a Front
Running Bastard (FRB) by finding the beer
faster than anyone else. Strap On showed off
his ability to find holes in the ground and falling with grace to the position
of Dead Fucking Last (DFL).
Although many were nominated, there was no doubt who would be bestowed with the Stud Award. Deep Throat not only lead the circle, but also went out of his way to ensure the safe arrival of all hashers by re-running trail to find our DFL Strap On.
The past few hours had gotten to Strap On’s fragile
mind and forced him to bitch and moan about every little sprained ankle he had,
forcing the pack to bestow on him the coveted Mop Squeezer award. Beaver and Hein Ass also cried a lot, but
even ripped panties couldn’t take the award away from Strap On.
The next few hours were occupied
by the awarding of Multiples (Short Cumming,
Rambutt, Captain Catheter, and Strap On) and Backsliders (Hard Drive, Short
Cummings, Captain Catheter, Horny Monkey, and Your Royal Hein Ass). While this almost cleaned out the coolers of
nectar, that took the special attention of the Violators Deep Throat, Your Royal Hein Ass, and Saturday
Night Beaver. There was just enough left to accommodate those funny Jerry Lewis
impersonators amongst us: Forrest Hump,
Short Cummings (X2), Lazy Mother Fucker, Up N Out, and John Doe. But noone could
beat the upbeat humor of Strap On who continued his whining by screaming that the best joke
of the night was “that fucking trail.”
Present at the hash were:
|
Captain Catheter |
Rear Ender |
|
Creaming and Dreaming |
Saturday Night Beaver |
|
Deep Throat |
Scratch and Sniff |
|
Forrest Hump |
Short Cummings |
|
Hard Drive |
Strap On |
|
Horny Monkey |
Trojan Whore |
|
John Doe |
Up and Out |
|
Lazy Mother Fucker |
Your Royal Hein Ass |
|
Rambutt |
|
On-On
John Doe
Web Master Bator