KMHHH # 104
Hippty Hop Easter Hash
22,
April, 2000
Easter and Fiesta met as the Kiss
My Hash House Harriers celebrated both holidays in true hash fashion. Roasted
Nuts was away quickly, “hippty hopping” as he laid his “bunny trail.” Through
the Northeast side, the hounds went, lured by a “carrot” of promise; beer! Even
Forest Hump made it to the end of the trail, though his arrival was more like
the “bunny flop”, rather than a “bunny hop.”
At the trail’s end, Cascarones weren’t
the only kind of eggs being cracked. Jerry Lewis contenders: Gee Whiz, No Name
Gorgette, Short Cummings, Tekillya Tits, Forest Hump, Moby Dick, and No Name
Jeremy laid a few “bad eggs” of their own, with their lame jokes. The biggest
Easter “ham” however, was Scratch n’ Sniff’s, who, laid the biggest egg. The
Multiples were “all in clover” as they celebrated their milestones. They were:
Backdraft (65) Le Femme Nikita (55), John Doe (30), Seven Year B*tch (25), Miss
September (15), Scratch n’ Sniff (90), Mastor Gator (40), Tekillya Tits (20)
Short Cummings (5), Karen (5), and Paul (5). For the five timers, it was time
to be named.
With such choices such as Nut Rosster,
Pussy Whipped, and Kitchen Pass. The hounds decided in their wisdom, or lack of
creativity, to allow Short Cummings to keep his name. A particular theme
surrounded No Name Paul’s naming. Suggestions from the hash brain trust
included: Chip n’Dale, Wild Zebra, Strip Tease, Mr. September, Speck of a
Pecker, Solid Gold, and Full Monty. When the votes were counted, No Name Paul
became Strap On, as he shall be known henceforth. No Name Karen’s naming also
revolved around a particular theme. Suggestions included: Gravity Chick, Push
to Eject, Barf at the Moon, Ejection Seat, Ralph at the Moon, Tighty Whitey, $5
Table Dance, Donkey Style, and Foot Loose. None of these, however, could
compare to Karen’s new name, Blows a Lot.
With the night’s naming accomplished it
was on to the traditional awards. The “Hare” of the evening (FRB) was Flaming
Ass Pole and 7 Year B*tch. Following behind them was the “Tortise” (DFL) Fire
In The Hole. In addition to receiving their new “Easter Bonnets,” the “winners”
were also presented with Easter eggs. Many eggs seemed distinctly to the hare’s
advantage. Roasted Nuts got kisses from several hashers, including a big wet
one from Moby Dick. The Religious Advisor, Deep Throat, was apparently without
his “lucky rabbit’s foot.” He received an Easter weggie from Forest Hump.
The “Easter Parade” continued with the
“solid” Stud Award. Horses’ Ass was nominated for getting hot and wet, and Moby
Dick was nominated for getting Horses’ Ass hot and wet. But it was Forest
Hump’s “head first” entrance to Circle that was deemed the most Studly. Next came the Mop Squeezer Award, given to
that hasher, which has whined, fussed, moaned, and complained the most. There
was a lot of “quacking and cheeping” from the Ass Family nominees, Horses’ Ass
and Her Royal Hein Ass. In fact, in honour of winning the award so many times,
Horses’ Ass was present with her own “Mini Mop.” Winning the true “fluffy
white” award was Moby Dick, for always whining about nominating Horses’ Ass.
In between these awards were a “basket”
full of no blows, and a “parade” of violators. At long last came the Hashshite.
Le Femme was nominated for forgetting to bring the sacred challis and Moby Dick
was nominated for getting an unwilling Horses’ Ass wet. Thr “black sheep” on
her knees before us in the end, was Horses’ Ass, for claiming to have “done”
her mom. Soon after the hash hymnal was sung and the many of the hounds made
their way to Tits Everywhere’s house for the On-After.
On-On
Fire In The Hole
) “Horse’s Ass you’ve kneeled on rougher things.” - No Name
Greg
) “It’ll make Paul come automatically whenever he straps it
on.” - Rear Ender
) “Don’t eat the fuzzy stuff.” - Little Woody
) “I did my mom last night, and it was really different.” -
Horse’s Ass
) “ At this year’s Texas Interhash, I got the opportunity
to sleep with Short Cummings.” - Roasted Nuts
) “The beaver’s hairy.” - Saturday Night Beaver
) “I like it, you can blow it or suck it.” - Forest Hump
) “It’s got enough head already.” – Rear Ender
) “Horses’ Ass, blow that sucker good.” – Little Woody