KMHHH # 102
Peaks, Valleys, Hills &
Dales Hash
25, March,2000
Not every Kiss My Hasher
attended this year’s Texas Interhash in Houston. So for those either too cheap,
too lazy, or held captive by work the KMHHH kept to their schedule. Around 20
hounds came out to chase Hares Fists of Fury and Creamin’ & Dreamin’. The
hounds were joined by Virgin, No Name Sam, as they went up, over, down, and
around and around through the hare’s trail. “Rounding his way home” first was
Up & Out, the night’s Front Running B*st*rd (FRB,) with much of the pack
behind him. There was a bit of a wait before the festivities could begin, but
eventually the “circle was complete” with the appearance of DFL (Dead F*cking
Last) Moby Dick.
Despite being beat to the Down-Down by Rear Ender, No Name
Georgette, and Fire In The Hole, Deap Throat was “king of the hill.” This was
mostly due to the fact that he “helped” encourage the hounds to award the
Hashshite to Forest Hump. (Drink Forest, Drink!) According the Horse’s Ass
Forest attempted to turn the bathroom at Run-a-Way into the poison gas chamber.
This and messing up the checkbacks on the St. Patrick’s trail was deemed far
worse than Deep Throat screwing up several people’s plans for Interhash by
having to work. Throughout all this, No name Reva was doing her best to earn
herself the mop, which she was awarded, over Horse’s Ass and Rear Ender. Her
whining centered on missing the Michigan State Spartans NCAA game.
Next, it seems some of our hashers can’t get enough! They have to
do it 20, times 30 times or more. For these Multiples, Virgin Shoes (20) and
Anal Flour (30) once is never enough. As luck would have it, we were prepared
with a Stud on hand to meet their needs. Up & Out was not only observant on
trail, but also tracked down the lost members of the pack.
Despite our best efforts to involve everyone, some hounds just
“can’t or don’t do it!” It seems they just liked to be forced. Non-Apparents
included: Non Name Garry, Betty Crock of Sh*t, No Name Paul, No Name Jeremy,
and No Name Bob. Other hashers just
like “to be bad” and “break all the rules.” Violators were: Forest Hump, Moby
Dick, No Name Karen, No Name Paul, No Name Georgette, Rear Ender, Fire In The
Hole, and No Name Bob. In addition to deviants and Non-Apparents, there are those hashers who “come once and then
take forever to come again.” Maybe we don’t “rub them the right way” or maybe
“they need their egos stroked,” whichever it is they’re still Backsliders.
Thus, Virgin Shoes, Betty Crock of Sh*t, No Name Bob, No Name Georgette, No
Name Jeremy, and No Name Greg were lucky enough to be asked to drink for their
faults.
Before the pack could “head off” to Hills & Dales for some
extra nourishment the restless god of Jerry Lewis had to be appeased. It was a
long and painful process as many tried, but it was Anal Flour’s Sherlock Foams
joke that finally did it !
On-On
Fire In The Hole
( “Moby Likes
to do things with his body, doesn’t he?” – Rear Ender
( “Moby, I’,m surprised you didn’t use
a pickle!” – Forest Hump
“Forest, I’m surprised you didn’t use a
stump!” – Horse’s Ass
( “Let’s see how’s is longer, mine or
Moby’s. Nope, Moby’s is longer.” – Forest Hump
( “He was doing it, but he didn’t have
anything in his hand!” – Deep Throat
( “Rambutt blew! I saw him.” – Rear
Ender
( “You can point my hose anytime
Forest.” – Moby Dick
( “Does Forest sh*t in the woods, and
if he does, does anybody hear it?” – Up & Out
and Rear Ender
( “It sucked like a vacuum cleaner.” –
Moby Dick
( “I think I just took a picture of my
crotch.” – Rear Ender