Over a dozen brave Virgins and their not so forth coming Sponsors were on hand for the 99^th running of the Kiss My Hash House Harriers. Their introduction to hashing consisted of a "long, hard" trail that not only went up, but also "went down." This was thanks to the "menage tois" of Hares, Deep Throat, Rear Ender, and Fire In The Hole.

It took all of the hounds awhile before they finally « came », to the Down-Down. The first to « come » (FRB) was Up & Out.  Chicken Ph*cker, on the other hand, was the last to start, but « kept it up the longest » (DFL) . By now all had arrived at the Down-Down. Despite the fact that there were a number of females present, Up & Out had to « blow his own head » as he handed off the Hashsite Award to Virgin Vomit. Virgin Vomit, was « headed » straigh t for his knees after bring a skateboard on trail and for « shaving his head ».

Next came the Mop Squeezer Award, the award given to that hasher that whine the most. « Head and Shoulds » above the competition was our RA, Deep Throat. Somehow, for 130 miles he managed to « keep it up, » whining about a speeding ticket that is ! This allowed him to « stay ahead » of fellow nominees Titter Twatter, Horses' Ass, and Up & Out.

« Moving ahaead » it was on to the Stud Award. By Trail's end the Stud it was evident « the Stud had been used ,» by the muck and marks on it. Some didn't appear to be even human. Ever the proud creator, Little Woody rushed to »wash his wood. » This was nearly studly enough to be voted the Stud. It was not, however, as studly as Chicken Ph*cker using the Stud as a bridge to assist No Name Adriana through the trail. Chicken was « head over heals » about receiving the Stud again, so much so he started « pounding his wood » in front of everyone.

« Heading down » the list of the rest of the award winners were : Fist of Fury with 35 Multiples, Labia and Master Gator, who if they »had their heads together », might have remembered to « blow. » , and the Violaters, Heather, Little Woody, Rear Ender, Kino, Labia On the Table, and Fire In The Hole, who weren't smart enough to « stay one step ahead. » « Headding to the bottom » of the joke barrel, were Barbie, Forest Hump, Fire In The Hole, and Jerry Lewis Winner Anal Flour.

On-On

Fire In The Hole

• « Whoa look at the head on that ! » - Moby Dick to Virgin Vomit