It took him quite a few tries, but John Doe finally "got himself up"; to the "front position" of the pack of the Kiss My Hash House Harriers that is. However, Hares: Tekillya Tits and Gee Whiz had their lucky "rabbit feet" with them as they escaped and evaded his pursuit. Nonetheless, John was the "first to come"; to the end of the trail (FRB.) By "coming so quickly", John denied a vision impaired Titter Twatter Seven Year B*tch's wood. John "consummated" his victory of the Stud Award after tales of his "wet and wild" evening from several nights prior was "exposed". But it was to Titter Twatter's advantage that she was DFL, as in her condition "small objects may appear larger."

It was only too bad for John that the batteries powering his "hand held device" hadn't petered out, or perhaps he should have switched his device to "vibrate mode." But instead, he was "plunged" into a black hole (the hashshite,) which on this day was filled with "discarded leftovers" (Doritos.) John however, wasn't the only one whose luck "went down on him", as Forest Hump was left to mop up John's "wet mess" (Mop Squeezer Award.)

By now Virgins: Honey Can I Check Your Meat, Scoobie Snatch, BMW, Chunk E' Cheeks, and others were ready to "wet their whistles," while the No Blows: Begging For It, Her Royal Hign Ass, Horse's Ass, Titter Twatter, and Seven Year B*tch just wished they had something to wet. Next it was the Multiples: Miss September (10), Horses' Ass (40), Up & Out (50), Doggie Style (10), and Moby Dick (35) turn to "score" and celebrate their "lucky numbers."

Meanwhile, the Hounds thought that Le Femme Nikita and Begging For It might never "come" again, or that they may have forgotten "what to do" and "how to do it." But they both "rose to the occasion" and amazingly enough had a "quick finish." Afterwards it was "hard to take," but that didn't deter Horses' Ass, Gee Whiz, Rear Ender, Moby Dick, and the eventual winner No Name Paige from "plunging" into the Jerry Lewis Award. Some were short and fast, others long and slow, but all left a bad taste in our mouths.

As the Down-Down began to draw to a close there were a few more hashers to be recognized. It seems some Hashers: Up & Out, Moby Dick, No Name Will, Tits Everywhere, Ram Butt, and Fire In The Hole just "can't get it" or "don't get it," and in their "longing" resort to "violating" themselves and fellow hashers. With the Violators "whipped" into shape the pack sang their final song before going off in search of "meat."

On-On

Fire In The Hole

• "Stop blowing the head," John Doe to Gee Whiz

• "Do you want my meat, I haven't touched it," Rear Ender to Up & Out