KMHHH # 95

Millennium Madness

1, January, 2000

In a combined effort the Kiss My Hash House Harriers and San Antonio Hash House Harriers decided to bring in the new century together with a special combined hash. The Hounds dressed in their “finest” New Years’ attire and gathered at Sir Winston’s as they prepared to follow the Hares, Doggie Style and Scratch N’ Sniffs’ trail. Hangovers, fences, hills could not dissuade the hounds in their pursuit of the frosty beverages, kept safely out of the Y2K bug’s reach at the trail’s end.

While the beverages were safe, the Y2K bug must have struck the hounds, because Rear Ender and Fire In The Hole in their “party” dresses were the first( FRB) to arrive at the Down-Down, much to the hounds amazement. The most astonished hasher was No Name Annalise, who in her whining about being beat by the pair, being hungover, being hot, and having to carrying the Stud was blessed with the honour of the Mop Squeezer Award.

As the festivities continued the night’s DFL, Great Buns of Fire arrived on the scene. He arrived just in time to see Multiples Titter Twatter (10) and Stud Seeker(10) receive their headbands. Following this, the “Ass Family” gained a new family member and “crowned a new “queen”, with the coronation of Her Royal Hign Ass, formally known as No Name Annalise. Other suggested “titles” were Vigina China, Tiara Her A New Asshole, Sorority American Princess (SAP), and Princess Pubic Plucker.

Every “queen” needs and king, and who could be more Studly than the week’s recipient of the Stud Award? Chicken Ph*cker tried his best to win with his “bathroom behaviour”, but still lost out to Seven Year Bitch, who out ran a train. In order to complete the hash “court” a jester was needed, and there were quite a few “fools” vying for the award. Birthday boy Anal Flower, along with Forest Hump, Moby Dick, Crack Flasher, and F*cking Annoying all competed for the dishounor of the Jerry Lewis Award and tied.

For court members Rear Ender, Anal Flower and No Name Susan, the phrase “Baby’s Got A New Pair of Shoes” equaled a trip to the circle and down-down from their new fancy footwear. Finally, every group must have their back knight or hashshite winner, a character whose behaviour is so foul and nefarious it can not be put into words. Forced to his knees to drink from the black goblet of doom, was Deep Throat for denying the lovely Rear Ender any nocturnal activities on the previous evening.

Following the festivities the Hash moved their celebrations to Sir Winston’s, with the journey’s entertainment provided by Moby Dick and Roasted Nuts, who so kindly showed the pack the way, by “Moon Light.” Within minutes of their arrival, the revelers had created a flying food frenzy, with Rear Ender leading the way. All the while, Her Royal Hign Ass presided over the mayhem from atop a table. A “bottoms” and a were bottoms of pitchers latter, the hashers were happy, healthy and ready for another century of continuing the hash tradition.

On-On Fire In The Hole