KMHHH Run # 93
Rear Ender’s Rewards
4, December, 1999
It’s not often that you’re rewarded for “coming from behind,” but in this case Rear Ender decided to prove the hounds wrong. The Hares, Up & Out & Forest Hump went “behind the lines” in Universal City to set their trail. It took the hounds a while, but they finally arrived at the finish “In the End.” Kermit was the night’s FRB, in a “Come from Behind” win. After most all the hounds were in there was still one missing. Picking up the “Rear End” of the pack was our ever zenning Religious Adviser Deep Throat.
With everyone accounted for it was time for the Down-Down to begin. It couldn’t help but to be pointed out that some of the hashers think racing is the “End All, Be All,” especially those who won awards so Betty Crocker Shit, Chicken Phucker, Forest Hump, Up & Out, Kermit, Tim, Moby Dick, and Fire In The Hole were asked to step into the Circle. With the racers duly honor it was time to move on to the important awards. The Whiners Award or Mop Squeezer has to go to someone. In this case Horses’ Ass tried to claim it for whining about the stud. Up & Out cried he was having to drink too much. Seven Year Bitch griped too many San Antonio Hashers were at the Kiss My Hash Run. Still “In the End” the mop went to Rear Ender for a litany of litigious lamentations.
Next was the Hashshit, an award given for the most heinous and vile act. It unanimous that No Name Annalise should “End Up” with the Hashshit, after Chicken Phucker told the tale of her claiming the hash was “Beneath Her.” Following this it was only fitting the Stud Award “Come At The End.” Up & Out was nominated for “Coming Through at the End” with a trail, John Doe, for not “Ending Up” in jail after his vehicle was towed, Chicken Phucker for being “Behind the Times” and offering his headgear for Annalise to kneel upon, but going “End Over End” to win the Stud Award was Rear Ender, who voted herself the mop.
Viewing all of this were the Virgins: Who’s Your Daddy, No Name, Tim, Code Yellow, and Sir Wallow Menob. Deep Throat though, made sure that they and their sponsors didn’t get “Left Behind” in the consumption of beverages. The Virgins were joined by the Visitors: Captain Cathater, Te Killya Tits, Bronco Boy, Michelle, Fowl Fucker, Goes In Wet Comes Out Pink, Roasted Nuts, and Gee Whiz, who “Left Behind” the San Antonio Hash to join KMHHH for on evening.
Closing out the evening was the Multiples and Jerry Lewis Award. The Multiples were: Chicken Phucker (30), Deep Throat (65), Fire In The Hole (20) Forest Hump (25), Rear Ender (45), and Bronco Boy (15). For Jerry Lewis, the jokes were “Endless” as each hasher tried to out do the other. Horses’ Ass tried her best, as did Scratch n’ Sniff, but No Name Amber “Ended It All” with her fat chic in a bikini and lesbian frog joke. With the Down-Down complete, and Swing Low Sweet Chariot sung the 93rd running of the KMHHH came to a close, proving “All’s Well That Ends Well.”
On-On
Fire In The Hole