KMHHH Run # 91
Hashing
La Vida Loca
Note: This is meant entirely in fun and in puns. NO OFFENSE is intended!
The Hounds decided to explore a new area of San Antonio as Hares, Chicken Phucker and John Doe "conceived" the hounds’ "mission" and took them to the south side of town for the "Cholo Mission Trail." After being given their "tags" & "collars" the hounds took off in pursuit, through bamboo and the back streets the pack went. There were not any "wetbacks" only wet feet as the pack waded through rocky streams in their pursuit. The hares even left special messages and sites along the trail. It was especially "suite" for Forest Hump, who literally flipped upon seeing the sofas on trail.
A few bumps, bruises, trains, and wrong turns later the Hounds arrived at the Down-Down. The hounds weren’t the only animals there though, patrolling the area were several "pigs", who remained near the Down-Down. Soon they were treated to Deep Throat’s "hamming it up" with Labia on the Table’s Virgin John and Multiples: Backdraft (20), Moby Dick (30), Te Killya Tits (10), Up & Out (45), and Labia on the Table (5). Labia did decide to keep her name however, notable suggestions for a new name included: Carpenter's Dream, Comes with Men, Porn a Graphic, Saturday Night Beaver, and IHOP.
Also hopping and flapping and clapping was Chicken Phucker as he was presented with new Chicken head gear from Scratch n’ Sniff. Other headgear owners of the night were Up & Out as the FRB (Front Running Bastard) and Te Killya Tits and the DFL (Dead Fucking Last). The awards then progressed from "one head to another head" as nominations for the Stud Award "arose". They included John Doe for his Spanish directions and "dog tags;" No Name John for scaling the dam, Labia for bringing a drinking Virgin, and the winner Moby Dick for boasting of never having "been a stud."
After the "wood" comes the clean up, so it was on to the Mop Squeezer Award. Feaster whined about when we’d go back to the start, Horse’s Ass "brayed" about the shiggy, and the biggest whiner John Doe whined about everything, including the lack of blame placed upon his co-hare. The only thing more heinous than this was the Hashit winner Moby Dick, who boasted of being the perfect model of hash behavior and being impervious to the Hashit.
While Moby might have been on his knees, he was at least able to blow, unlike No Blows: Horse’s Ass, Titter Twatter, Labia on the Table, Te Killya Tits, and Captain Catheter. But there were others who Violated tradition as well: Deep Throat, Up & Out, and the San Antonio Hashers. The only thing more foul than a violation would be the winner of the Jerry Lewis Award, which went to Forrest Hump for his plumber and sprocket joke. As the jokes faded and "G" was honored the Hounds moved on to Le Tuna for a few more cervezas and food.
On-On
Fire In The Hole