Deep Throat & Dry Hump's Hunted Hashers

9, October, 1999

In contrast to last week's "whale hunt," Hares, Deep Throat and Dry Hump decided to play "The Most Dangerous Game" with the hounds. With the "Call of the Wild" the hounds began their pursuit. It may not have been "Sherwood Forest", but the pack had nary a "quiver" as they ran through the "Deer Hunters." Up & Out was the Front Running Bastard (FRB), as he followed the "scent" of barbecue to the end. Thankfully, "Diana" decided to side with hounds who arrived shortly after to begin the Down-Down.

The floor was opened for nominations for the Hashshit, the award given to the hashers with a "Heart of Darkness." Up & Out was nominated for racing, Rear Ender for causing a tidal wave of spilled beer, and the zenning hares for laying an unzenable trail. At the end of the night though it was Up & Out who took possession of the plunger. Soon after with some "tracking" Deep Throat determined the evening's Multiples: Gee Whiz (10), Dry Hump (25), Doggie Style (5), and Fire In The Hole (15). The pack attempted to rename Doggie. Possible choices were: Milk Bone, Two Dogs Fucking, Dr. Does Little, Colonic Irrigation, and Pooper Scooper. In typical fashion the pack was unable to reach a decision and decided to just to keep Doggie Style.

The pack surely wasn't "blind", as they began to offer up potential Stud prospects. There was Roasted Nuts who kept Horses' Ass on trail, after she snuck off to answer the call of nature and for his impression of a wet vac, sucking the spilled beer off the pavement along with Filthy Faucet Feaster. Dry Hump was considered for multitasking of haring, cooking, nominating, and beer pouring as was Up & Out for his pursuit of the hares. Yet none of these were considered as studly as Fire In The Hole's war wounds from the trail and for riding multiple motorbikes with multiple male hashers in one night.

Through all of this the Virgins and their sponsors: No Name Sean brought by Forest Hump, No Name Jeremy brought by Rear Ender, No Name Georgette brought by Deep Throat, and visiting Nashville hasher Heavy Metal got the "shaft" when they were unable to answer Deep Throat's questions.

There weren't any "decoys" for DFL (Dead Fucking Last), so Scratch n' Sniff was joined in the circle by the evening by the Non-Apparents: Sharon, Roasted Nuts, Little Woody, Chicken Ph*cker, Le Femme Nikita, and Ram Butt. Lastly, No Name Jeremy hit the "bull's eye" to win the Jerry Lewis Award with his honeymoon husband joke. With their "limit" reached the pack returned to an evening of beverages and barbecue.

On ON

Fire In The Hole