KMHHH Run # 87"A Whale of a Trail"

The hounds headed out to Bullis Park to begin their pursuit of Moby Dick and Forest Hump, but the hares had a few surprises planned. Virgins, No Name Bruce and No Name Carl’s introduction to the Hash was more unusual than most as the hounds were given cards with codes (enough to interpret the "songs & signs" of our white whale) to help them navigate the trail. In addition, there were also special checkpoints: Moby Dick, Forest Hump, and "Free Willy" checks.

As the pack made their way, surprisingly it was Rear Ender who "freed Willy." Despite Moby Dick’s blowing, his "Willy" was somewhat limp by the time Rear Ender grasped him. He later admitted he repeatedly blew and blew, but just could not seem to get his "Willy" to stiffen. Rear Ender’s joy was short lived as Up & Out heinously stole her "Willy" and proceeded to beat his fellow male hashers from behind with his "Willy." For this he was justly awarded the Hashshite.

The Down-Down got started with the arrival of the Front Running B*st*rd (FRB) Anal Flower. Le Femme Nikita began the circle by honoring the Multiples: Chicken Ph*cker (25), Forest Hump (20), Le Femme Nikita (45), Little Woody (40), Ram Butt (25), Roasted Nuts (25), Goes in Wet Comes Out Pink (5). No Name John Ruibal also had five runs and thus under went the right of passage of being named. Possible names included: Takes It Out Too Fast, Flies & Dies, Comes Out Hard, and Comes Too Early. None of these were good enough. Instead, John Ruibal will henceforth be known as Betty Crock of Shit.

Despite being lost of trail Deep Throat and Tits Everywhere were not the night’s DFLs, (Dead F*cking Last), that honor went to Filthy Faucet Feaster and his four legged ladies. He was also given the Stud for carrying Brew Dog on his back through the last bit of the trail. This was despite some "stiff" competition from Rear Ender, for removing Up & Out’s wilted "Willy", Le Femme Nikita for his triathlon swim, and a sickly Moby Dick for rescuing lost hashers.

Other award winners were: Horses’ Ass, the recipient once again of the Mop Squeezer Award to the chant of "four more years" and Roasted Nuts, Filthy Faucet Feaster, and Tits Everywhere for being No Blows. (Perhaps problems of the latter were a result of a contagious disease spread by the "Willy"?) Moby Dick won the Jerry Lewis Award for his Jewish Convert joke. From there a slew of violators ran amuck as the Circle rounded to a close.