KMHHH # 85

"Chicken Phucker & Le Femme Nikita's Dam Hash"

August 28, 1999

"The Hills were alive with sound of" whistles??????  Maybe it was watching the Sound of Music one too many times, but whatever the cause, Hares Chicken Phucker and Le Femme Nikita decided today the hounds should "climb every mountain" in San Antonio. As the hounds made "mole hills out of the hares' mountains" they were forced to scale a dam. Their efforts were rewarded with a Beer Check at the Hares' creative KMHHH Bar & Grill. Most of the pack made it to the Down-Down in good time, except for Gee Whiz, Rear Ender, and Camel Jockey. But the hounds knew "they'd be coming around the mountain when they came." Still there might not have been "a Moon Over Miami", but there certainly were two below the site of the Down-Down courtesy of Rear Ender and Camel Jockey.

As usual the first to "find his thrill" on the Hares' final "brushy hill" was the Front Running Bastard (FRB) Anal Flower. The last to arrive on the "good ole rocky top" or Dead Fucking Last (DFL) was Camel Jockey. As they raised their glasses in celebration they were joined by the week's Multiples: Anal Flower (20), Horse's Ass (30), Moby Dick (25), Scratch N' Sniff (75), and Up & Out (40).

The Mop Squeezer Award, AKA the "Horse's Ass Award" AKA "Whiner Award" is an award that is given to the hasher that expounds the most whining and complaining. Gee Whiz tried her best, to "go tell it on the mountain", especially as she cut new trail to make it to the Down-Down. But the Mop Squeezer went to Horse's Ass for her "Landslide" of complaints about the shiggy.

Up & Out began erecting a wealth of nominations to which he could give his oversized wood. Nominations for the Stud award included, Hares, Chicken Phucker and Le Femme Nikita for helping the DFLs and Moby Dick by bringing refreshments to the struggling DFLs. Ram Butt for trying to help No Name Sharon "go up the hill to fetch a pail of beer." Unfortunately, "No Name Sharon fell down." Despite all of these "studly" acts it was Gee Whiz who took hold of the wood, for proving "there ain't no mountain high enough" with her trail blazing zen to the end. Later in the evening she'd have to fight off Moby Dick, who kept fondling her nearly four feet of pride and joy.

As the evening's events progressed things might have gone more smoothly for Moby Dick if he'd bothered to teach his Virgin, No Name Sharon the "Do Re Mi's" of hashing. His lack of preparation led him and his virgin to become very familiar with the Circle and a chance to perfect their down-down technique.

It was now time to determine whose vile and foul act would place them on their knees to drink from the Hash-shit. Up & Out refused to hug his fellow hashers Fist of Fury at the Hares' "Smile Check", Anal Flower allowed the cookies to crumble all over the ground, and Moby Dick left his virgin untouched and innocent to the ways of the hash were just a few of the nominations. Though none of their acts could rival Chicken Phucker writing hot checks to Horse's Ass and Le Femme Nikita.

Soon it was the Non-Apparents turn to take part in the festivities. Dry Hump. Tits Everywhere, Fists of Fury, Rear Ender, Ram Butt, and Fire In The Hole all eagerly joined in. The Down-Down was closed out with the Jerry Lewis Award going to Le Femme Nikita and his sinko de mayo joke. Like sure-footed burros the hashers' caravan rolled down the mountain and headed off to Legends for some chemical induced off key karakoe.

On-On
Fire In The Hole