There were 17 runners, thousands of shamrocks, and two dawgs on this, the 46th running of the Kiss My Hash House Harriers. DEEP THROAT and no name Brad masterfully wound us through the gullies and riverbeds of McAllister Park. The trail was about five miles which is a little long for the average KMHHH hound, but there was plenty of incentive along the way. DEEP THROAT and Brad left us little shamrock thingys along the trail so that if we had the luck o' the Irish, we could win a special prize at the end of the run. The trail was quite muddy which the hounds attempted to remedy by taking the mud off of the trail and wearing it in our shoes and up and down our backs. The mud and water added a bit of humor to the run when UP AND OUT, speeding off to examine a checkpoint, slid into the center of a minor lake. His slide ended in a spectacular back flip which ENERGIZER BUNNY and I gave a resounding 10. The best part was his immediate recovery, rising up out of the water and speeding off as though nothing ever happened. So that's how he got his name! I think he may have even gotten one of the coveted shamrocks for his efforts! The hounds did snare the bulging hamstringed DEEP THROAT. Due to a muddy misstep, DEEP THROAT popped his hamstring making it resemble the look and feel of a tournament softball. Brad was able to finish off the trail and DEEP THROAT was incredibly good-natured about the injury. Fortunately, at the end of the trail, there was a deep, trash-filled cement pond which FILTHY FAUCET FEASTER and the rest of the hounds were able to cleanse ourselves. Of course F3 later told us this was the water in which S&M and BREW DAWG gleefully relieved themselves. We had a brief DOWN DOWN in which the shamrock collection award, a bottle of Bailey's, was given to ONE A DAY. (BACK DRAFT wants to know where his portion of the prize is, since he selflessly left so many shamrocks for ONE A DAY to abscond.) ENERGIZER BUNNY was quick to point out the lack of shamrocks for her to pick up which allowed us to easily point out the MOP SQUEEZER. She accepted the whiner's award and passed it to UP AND OUT to carry for her, who was being particularly spunky after his gymnastic demonstration. The DFL went to ENERGIZER BUNNY also, but it wasn't her fault, she was just following UP AND OUT, GATOR ATER, & MASTER GATOR on one of their doomed, Gilligan's Island 3-hour tours. (They always Zen when it is raining-good thing POPE was still recovering from his ankle injury, or we'd still be waiting for them to return!) We checked for the wearing of the green, but everyone was dressed in the spirit, even LA FEMME NICKITA, despite his bout with some life-sucking cold or flu was wearing a 'KISS ME I'M IRISH," pin. We did get POPE and ENERGIZER BUNNY for using Christian or Muslim or Heathen names, and UP AND OUT, POPE, MASTER GATOR, ONE A DAY, & ENERGIZER BUNNY for not wearing their whistles. The Front Running Bastard was BACK DRAFT who graciously gave up his share of the shamrocks for the betterment of ONE A DAY'S liquor cabinet. The MULTIPLE was MASTER GATOR at 25 runs (and no whistle!). Although MASTER GATOR was an excellent nominee for the HASHIT for soaking Li'l T's stroller, and FILTHY FAUCET FEASTER was a close second with his Boston Strangler impression on my neck, ONE A DAY received the plunger of doom for spilling her beer to save a bagel at the St. Patrick's Day Fun Run earlier in the day. No bad joke was told because we wanted to get to the On-After, a sports bar displaying the BULLS and SPURS on the big screen! Our Hares, DEEP THROAT and Brad, purchased us many beverages and we enjoyed watching the game in our obnoxious St. Patty's Day running attire. Everyone, that is, except FEASTER, the man with one shoe. He apparently felt it necessary to disrobe at the table so that his big, gunboat sized feet were being fanned by the fresh breezes in the bar. Someone discovered a stray shoe the size of a whale and thought it naturally belonged in the men's bathroom, or even the toilet maybe. I think that is the case, anyway, because that is where DEEP THROAT found it. It seemed these shenanigans were enough for one day, so we thanked DEEP THROAT, Brad, and their families, and headed ON home.  

ON ON IMM